


don’t want no other shade of blue (but you)

by beeche241



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28419513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeche241/pseuds/beeche241
Summary: In which we come to know why JJ loves her blue blanket so dearly, why she always wraps it so tightly around herself on the jet
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 8
Kudos: 108





	don’t want no other shade of blue (but you)

"JJ," Emily groaned, pulling the pillow tightly around her ears to block out the blaring noise of JJ's ringtone. "Your phone."

There was a slight grunt in response, but no move to action came from the blonde beside her.

With great effort, Emily rolled over and stretched her arm past her sleeping girlfriend to where JJ's cell lay on the bedside table. She blinked a few times, allowing her eyes to adjust to the bright screen.

"It's Hotch," Emily whispered, placing a hand on JJ’s side. "We gotta get up."

JJ sleepily batted Emily's hand away, and despite the urgency of a call from the BAU at 3am, Emily smiled. How unbelievable it was to her that she had the privilege to call Jennifer Jareau her girlfriend, that they had spent the night simply enjoying every aspect of each other, enough to exhaust JJ into a state of ignoring Hotch's call. Seeing her sleeping soundly in Emily's bed, without a worry in the world, exposed a vulnerable side of the younger agent that she had never been allowed to see until recently.

For a moment, Emily considered answering the phone, if only to make the loud ringing stop, but the implications of that were far too great, and she was not prepared for Hotch to ask questions about Emily and JJ dating. After months of dancing around one another, they had finally settled into the rhythm of a wonderful relationship, and she wanted to keep the chats about professionalism and the inevitable teasing away from the exhilaration of it all for as long as she could.

The call went to voicemail, and a text popped up soon after.

_ Aaron Hotchner: Case in Augusta, Maine — urgent. Could you gather the team? _

"Jayje," Emily tried again, this time shaking JJ's shoulder a bit. "We have a case. In Maine."

"Mmm...too cold."

Emily chuckled. "I know, babe. Next time, I'll tell the serial killers to hunt somewhere warmer, okay?"

"Yes, please," JJ tugged Emily's arm to wrap around her as she snuggled deeper into the covers.

"JJ," Emily protested, but she leaned into the embrace and curled her body around her girlfriend. "You need to call the rest of the team too."

JJ heaved a sigh as she took a moment to untangle herself and sit on the edge of the bed. Emily rose as well and tossed her a shirt from the floor.

"This doesn't fit. It's yours," JJ mumbled as she tugged it on.

"It looks good on you," Emily replied.

"You're not even looking."

With the both of them finally dressed, Emily rose to wash up in the bathroom and glanced at JJ, still seated in the same position. The older agent moved back and wrapped a blanket from the bed around her shoulders, drawing out a hum from her girlfriend at the sudden warmth.

"Wash up and call the team in ten minutes, and I'll let you bring the blanket onto the car," Emily promised with a grin, a bargain that finally motivated JJ to follow her to the bathroom.

* * *

JJ had passed out immediately during the drive, and Emily almost did not have the heart to wake her when they reached the BAU. She parked the car and took a moment to admire the woman slumbering on beside her, blue blanket drawn closely to her chin as she curled up tightly in the front seat.

The parking lot lights were not the most well-maintained, but in the hours before dawn, Emily could've sworn they were made just to illuminate JJ's sleeping face perfectly.

A loud knock on the window jolted both of them out of their respective dreams, as Emily was greeted by the smiling face and waggling eyebrows of one Penelope Garcia. She waved and held up a tray of coffee cups — an apology in advance for the merciless teasing she was about to unleash on the couple.

"Long night?"

"Give me those," Emily grabbed the coffee from her grinning friend and ignored the comment.

"You lovebirds are getting careless," Penelope tutted. "Spencer will take no time to notice that's not JJ's shirt on her, and soon, the whole team will know our little secret."

"You're only in on this secret because of your cyber-snooping," JJ grumbled, slowly dragging her body and blanket out of the car.

"I wouldn't  _ need _ to cyber-snoop, if the two of you had just told me in the first place," the tech analyst defended herself.

Emily laughed and shook her head as she began to make her way to the building.

JJ frowned at her phone, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Hotch said to meet on the airstrip. We're briefing on the jet and headed straight to Maine."

"Must be a serious case."

"Kids," JJ's expression was difficult to read, but Emily knew she was struggling to maintain a steady voice as she read through Hotch's texts. "And an Augusta city council member’s two children are missing after a string of ritualistic homicides."

Without another word, the trio proceeded to the tarmac. Emily's hand dropped from JJ's lower back as they neared, seeing Derek and Spencer turn to face the approaching group.

JJ clutched her girlfriend's folded blue blanket closely to her chest, hoping it would hide the shared shirt from her frustratingly observant coworkers as they gathered to board the jet. If Spencer noticed anything, he remained silent, though the gravity of the case suddenly overshadowed any fear of their relationship being exposed.

Hotch handed out the case folders to each of them. “Thanks for coming in so quickly. Children in Augusta are being abducted in pairs,” he explained. “We have four victims so far, with two more children missing. Local police called us as soon as they recognized the ritualistic nature of the killings.”

“Looks like some sort of staging,” Derek observed, flipping through the crime scene images. “One kid is tied up in a chair, the other killed in front of him.”

Spencer hummed in thought. “But look at the way the head is restrained at that angle. It’s like he’s being forced to watch.”

“When we land, Morgan and Reid head straight to the crime scenes,” Hotch said, not looking up from his case file. “Prentiss and Garcia, I need us looking into victimology, any connections in these families beyond them having two children. JJ, we’re going to need to have a hold on what the press is showing, what with these latest abductions being from such a high profile family.”

JJ nodded, keeping an impressively neutral expression on her face, but Emily caught a glimpse of her shaking hands as she closed the manila file and placed it on the table in front of her.

Despite her concern for JJ, Emily couldn't help but stare lovingly as she bundled up in the blanket once more after the briefing, though the flight to Maine was far too short to make up for all the lost sleep from the night before. She dropped her gaze before the rest of the team could catch her staring, but they seemed too engrossed in the files before them to notice.

* * *

The cases with children were never easy.

Emily could see it in the way JJ's jaw clenched as they stood before the police department, in the tight nod she gave when Spencer asked if she was okay — how every thought was filled with fear over her own son. She could see the blonde wrestling over the fact that yes, Henry was safe with Will hundreds of miles away, but despite everything she  _ knew _ to be true, the anxious thoughts remained.

“How are you doing?”

They had finally caught a moment alone, but in the middle of the police precinct, Emily didn’t dare to do more than hand JJ another cup of coffee and place a comforting hand on her arm.

“I'm fine."

She was lying, Emily knew. And JJ knew that Emily knew. But there was too much to unpack in the middle of the case, so she let it drop.

JJ picked nervously at her sweater. "I texted Will, and I'm gonna go pick up Henry for the weekend."

"Okay."

There was an uncertain silence.

"I'm not okay, but I will be."

Emily looked at her girlfriend. JJ was blinking hard, eyes searching for something in the room to fix her gaze and mind on. Emily knew how much it had taken to even admit she wasn’t okay, and in the moment, the older agent could offer only her unshakeable faith in JJ’s courage and a promise to be there for her until she came out the other side.

"I know you will."

* * *

Every press conference, every interview with the victims' parents, every drive to a new crime scene — each had been another crack in JJ's slowly crumbling facade, even after they’d caught the unsub. And after the exhaustion of hiding it from the public, Emily could see just how close she was to breaking down on the jet in front of her teammates.

JJ took her seat by the window and immediately pulled out the blue blanket, draping it loosely around her shoulders. Beside her, Emily longed to hold her close, pulling JJ's head to her chest, whispering words that everything would be alright until JJ had nothing to fear anymore. Instead she reached over and gave her girlfriend's hand a squeeze, a gesture that could at least be seen as platonic if any team members were watching.

JJ forced a thin smile, then turned away from her towards the window, pulling the blanket close.

Emily could sense JJ’s desire to withdraw and shut down, and she felt helpless against it. JJ's breathing slowed, and anyone who didn't know her the way Emily did would have assumed the blonde was asleep.

The dark-haired agent bit her lip and pulled out her phone, sending a quick text to Will.

_ Rough case today, could JJ talk to Henry? _

Within a few moments of Will's 👍🏻 response, JJ’s phone rang, and Emily watched out of the corner of her eye.

JJ's face twisted into a strange expression of concern at the name on the phone, as though expecting the worst for her own child after the horrors they had witnessed on the case.

"Will?"

"HI MOMMY!"

Emily hid a grin as she heard Henry's cry of delight burst through the phone's tiny speaker.

"Hi Henry," JJ's face lit up, the worries from the case fading. 

Despite JJ turning down the volume, Henry’s enthusiastic voice could still be heard rather clearly.

“Yes, I’m all finished working now, so I’ll be coming over to get you soon, okay?”

“Is Emmie coming too?” Henry asked.

Emily’s eyes widened, and she heard Penelope turn a fit of laughter into a horribly fake cough. She buried her head in her hands, refusing to look up and around the plane to see if anyone else had heard the nickname Henry had given her after a particularly wonderful date at the zoo. 

“I, uh, I don’t know, bud. Maybe some other time,” JJ said quickly, shooting Emily an apologetic look before changing the subject. “I think it’s almost time for bed. Have you gotten ready?”

“I’m not tired,” came the mumbled reply.

“Well, mommy’s tired,” JJ argued. “What story do you want to hear tonight?”

“The moon one.”

JJ glanced out the window of the jet at the night sky and smiled. “The moon one, okay. This story is about two sisters who loved each other very much. They lived together on a farm out in the countryside with lots of animals…”

Emily watched as JJ chatted quietly with her son, beaming the entire time. Though the case had taken a toll on her, JJ would always cherish the little moments with the ones she loved.

The blonde hung up after Henry's bedtime story and fiddled with the fabric on her lap. "Thank you," she said softly.

Emily smiled back and reached a hand under the blanket to hold JJ's — just a hint of the amount of love she wanted to show, but enough to tide the two of them over for the remainder of the flight.

* * *

“Are you sure you’re okay? And don’t say you’re fine,” Emily asked, not taking her eyes off the road as they drove home.

There was a long pause.

“I don’t know how to protect him,” JJ said, her voice barely a whisper. 

“Henry?”

JJ nodded. “We see the worst things every single day. How can I be okay with exposing him to all this? Doing what the unsub did — forcing him to see and know about death so closely.”

Emily took her eyes off the road for a second to look at her girlfriend. Her eyes were angry, but more than that, they were full of fear for her son. She picked anxiously at the blanket still on her lap.

“It’s not the same at all, JJ. You know that,” Emily reassured her. “We spend every day catching the bad guys, doing what we can to save lives.”

“Does it make a difference?” JJ murmured.

“Jayje, Henry admires you, the courage you have in your job. What you do...it shows him that there’s evil in the world, but it can be fought and overcome.”

Emily could see JJ turning the words over in her mind, pitting them against the lies her own thoughts had conjured of her inadequate parenting.

“He’s lucky to have you,” Emily added. “And so am I.”

JJ looked up and inhaled sharply as they turned the corner to Emily's apartment. "I can wash this blanket and give it back to you tomorrow."

Emily's forehead creased. In front of the team, she had been unable to do anything to ease her girlfriend's anxiety during the difficult case, but she had seen the way JJ wrapped herself in the blanket whenever she could, as though the warmth of the cover was instead a comforting embrace from the older agent.

Emily remained silent until the pair had exited the car and were standing hand in hand in front of the apartment.

"Keep it." After what felt like an eternity of not being able to hold her, Emily wrapped the smaller woman into a tight embrace. JJ's arms curled upwards to grasp at Emily's sweater as she buried her face into her neck. For a moment, the two of them rested in each other's arms, and nothing else mattered.

“Keep it as long as you need to, for all the moments I can’t hold you the way I want to.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed~ come chat with me @ssa-essayer on tumblr if that's your jam :)


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